12/29/2002 – Robert

            I’m on a flight right now, heading back to the great Zion wasteland, Utah.  I have just spent over a week with the family in Virginia.  My head has been swimming with thoughts.  Perhaps it’s time to close this chapter of my life. 

Some pre-vacation info about my life:

• Up until the day before I flew out here, the status of my job was up in the air.  My group did not know if we’d survive past the new year.  Just before I left on vacation, it was announced that my company had just picked up a major new client, and our software was just sold to one of our network agencies.  The stress of losing my job had really frayed my nerves.
• Since I purchased my current car, I have really made no headway in saving up cash and paying off my debts.  The car is probably costing me $700 a month with payments / insurance factored in.  Even if I suffered through one month of being laid off, I would have been financially torpedoed (how many of us honestly have a good amount built up in savings?).  Great fun.  I’ve decided that my job is too unstable, and I’m probably not going to get a raise anytime soon.  The car’s going to have to go soon.  I’m at the break-even point on the car loan, so I’ll trade it in for a cheaper ride.
• My home situation isn’t easy at the moment.  The roommate isn’t going to be renewing the lease with me.  I know, it sucks having to think about finding a new place at the end of the year, especially when my chop situation was in the shitter.  This put a great deal of stress on me.  Right now, I’m asking enough to cover the bills, food, and various other creature comforts… not enough for an increase in rent costs.  I have no hard feelings about loosing the roommate… it has been three years.  Luckily, I now have until the end of February to sort this out. 

It had felt like the shit was really hitting the fan at once.  Being stressed out 24/7 for a long time really eats away at you.

Xmas:

            Well, I had a pretty damned good Christmas vacation.  Well, except for me getting semi-sick the majority of the trip.  I wasn’t hurling lung butter or anything that serious, so besides taking more naps and advil than usual, I braved through it all.  I’m almost fully recovered now… as I’m leaving.  Figures…

            As far as xmas loot goes, it was a good year.  I now have an 85mm f1.8 portraiture lens.  Wahoo, finally a good lens for photographing bands and belly dancers.  Dad also gave me his old Canon SLR system, along with three lenses and a flash unit.  The gear must be 25 years old and it still works very well.  The gift really meant a lot to me, the best one ever in my book. 

            I was also taken to a NHL game on Friday: the Capitals vs. the Devils.  God, I really enjoy going to those hockey games.  That is a pretty severe problem with Utah; we don’t have a NHL team, just an AHL team… it just isn’t the same. 

            It was great being able to spend some time with the family.  I really wish I could do that once a week, instead of only when I fly out to visit (twice a year).

Gripes:

            Mom needs to stop being a back stead driver when Dad’s at the wheel.  He does have a good track-record, so I don’t think he needs instructions on how to drive.  Also, when you have such a posh lifestyle, one shouldn’t complain to Dad about not knowing where every last dollar goes.  Some things should just slide.

            My brother needs to get a job.  He’s almost 22 years old, he’s not going to school, and hasn’t had a job in his life.  Besides occasionally attending chess tournaments, I don’t think he ever does anything worthwhile.

            He wanted to go on a ski trip next week with some friends in Utah.  My dad told him no, if he wanted to go, he should get a job so he could pay for it himself.  My brother started moping, it seemed that maybe he was finally going to get off his ass and work… but, the parents caved in and purchased a plane ticket for him.  He really needs to be smacked.

             I need to get out of Utah.  After 8+ years here, I think it’s probably time to move on.  Two hours left to go on my flight.  I’m not looking forward to getting back to my life.