1:05 PM 1/13/2001

            Who am I?  Since late last month, that has been the defining question for me.  I had once become so caught up in my work that I lost my identity.  I became my work.  I really had no personal life at all.  All of the sudden, I got laid off and I become nobody. 

            The past two weeks have become a revelation for me.  Getting laid off has eliminated almost all of the stress in my life.  I don’t feel anger toward my previous employer; I pity her.  She has thrown years of her life at developing a product that no one wants.  What will become of her?  Her riches are gone, she is not treating her employees well.  She is blowing her chance at redemption.  She is a lost soul, and her employees don’t care about her personal wealth and materialistic values.  She will be alone.

            During the past two weeks, I have had time to play video games, pursue my photography, read or write at the Roasting Company for hours at a time, chat with friends all day, each lunch with friends, and simply do nothing.  Can life be more relaxing?  It is so wonderful being able to do all of the things that I have never had time to do.  Too bad it will come to an end soon.

            My life is better; I am happier now than I have been in several years.  Life is good… too bad I cannot afford to live like this whenever I chose.  Now would be an awesome time to try another career, but I want to be in Portland a year from now, if not sooner.  A major change at this point in time would set that back immensely.  I am a tad materialistic as well, I want my Acura TL this year. 

            I have very few worries anymore.  I can survive a few more months without employment, but it’d be ideal to find something decent within the next two weeks.  I just want to work somewhere that realizes its employees need their personal lives.  I want to do something that will utilize my creativity and talent.  Why do employers treat employees like utilities instead of human beings?  Since when did profit become the only worthwhile goal in life?  The bottom line should be customer and employee satisfaction, not squeezing every extra dollar out of every possible source in the world, shouldn’t it?