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7/3/2004 – Robert Life
flickers, in the blink of an eye, everything flies apart. I'm
driving home after dropping off a good friend.
The moon's out in full, the air is cool and my windows are down.
In the home stretch of the drive, flashing lights slice through the
night. I slow down, perplexed
at how to cross the intersection. There's
an opening to turn right, take a detour.
I begin turning, and I see many police cars, fire trucks, and
ambulances. On a tow truck, I
see a taxi... what was left of a taxi.
There's your normal level of smashed, but I'm amazed that anyone in
the taxi survived. A
pulse of panic races through me. I'm
wasting my life away. Day in,
day out, I sit in front of a computer terminal, pounding out code /
filling database requests for an insurance agency.
I've been working in the information technology world since before
I was 18. I don't feel like
I'm making a difference to anybody. I
just eagerly salivate like one of Pavlov's dogs every time a payday comes
around. Every two weeks, I
get paid, look forward to the next payday. I look back and realize that
I've wasted 7 years at this. If
that was me in the cab, and I lay on the street dying, what would I have
to say about my life? Have I
really affected anyone? Have
I accomplished anything really worth mentioning?
In the words of George Costanza: if you take everything I've
accomplished in my life and compressed it into one day, it looks pretty
impressive. These
thoughts aren’t new, I’ve had them for a long time. It's about time I stop this degenerate cycle. It's about time I really shake up the fabric of my existence. I know I've been saying a lot over the years that I need to get out of Utah, that I need to try something new with my life. It's about time I put my money where my mouth is and figure it all out.
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