4/9/2005 3:20am – Robert

 

            The last night in Utah.  What a journey this has been.  I spent three years in junior high and high school, and I came back in late 1997 to attend the university of utah.  Things never turned out the way I expected them to.

            About 20 minutes ago, I left Jaime’s house, my eyes watering as I said my sad goodbye.  I’ll miss you; I’ll miss all of you.  As I got to my car, I couldn’t hold it in anymore.  The rain, reflecting my tears, my mood, or some literary shit like that.  I cried the entire drive home.  I could taste the salt in my lips, my nose ran.  I think this was the furthest down I’ve ever felt as an adult.  Was this really a good idea?

            A group of us had a night out… coffee, Japanese food at Shogun, and then drinks and company at Erik’s place.  The night was good, something I’ll treasure always.  A friend was more broken up than I’ve ever seen him… and I wish I could have done something.  I’ll always be there for you, things will get better.

            Today, I finished my final day at the company I’ve worked at for the past 2 years, 2 months.  I’ve said goodbye to more friends than anybody should ever have to.  I must be crazy, I’m leaving my life and all of my friends behind.  You guys / gals are family to me, and I can’t imagine life without all of you in it.

            I know this is the right thing for me… my life has been in limbo for a long time.  For the first time in a long, long time, I feel a sense of hope for the future for me.  I think I could live a very happy life in Seattle.  I want to put down roots there, and I really wish I could take all of you with me.

            Still, the tears won’t stop.  I must be crazy…  I still cannot believe this is happening.  I will miss all of you dearly.

robert@digitalsingularity.com